wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
