i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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