you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
