I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize