I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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