lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
