Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
