I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
