i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
