Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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