Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
