I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
