yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think your dad took our porno
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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