win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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