Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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