Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
