do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
