Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
