I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
