i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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