I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
