Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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