That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
