I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
