you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
