chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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