So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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