So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
