I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
