Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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