Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i came on her dog
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
