Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
