So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
