ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
