Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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