If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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