a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
