I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
