my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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