Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
