The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
