Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
