so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
