I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
