Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
