But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
