kristin has been a bad kristin
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
