he shaved USA in his pubs
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
