I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
