More tranny stories later!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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