Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
