we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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