Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
