Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't think brook has ever known best
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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