I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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