Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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