you would pick up someone in the library
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize