i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
