This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There's always time for handjobs
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
