So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I touched a dick in church today
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
