The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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