i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
