Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
whose ass print is on the piano?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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